This Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the TV Letdowns of the Year.

As we reflect on the TV landscape of the recent year, a handful of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. From cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the third series began, it seemed as if it had at last hit its stride. Then came an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the final series. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the smallest of this drama's problems. The recipient of a very rare no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the problems. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The tedious veneration of wealth and consumption? The seemingly deliberate parade of tropes? Performances so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive excess while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charismatic but flippant egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Shady characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly fascinating things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Instead, the experience was akin to consuming a marketing brochure. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The pressure was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be handled sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and killing off – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for sexual exploits as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.